If you text me again I will gut all of your stuffed animals.
careful when you do the walk of shame, they are handing out bibles on campus
I just watched a girl use a tall boy Coors as a rolling pin to make christmas cookies
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Hey I have to teach you how to run in heels before vegas
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
Just hit him with your car. I can guarantee he won't do it again.
She got the hiccups while deep throating me. It was epic. Once in a lifetime experience.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
I pulled up iMessage on my computer and I'm pretty sure two people in my class saw that dick pic you sent. Sorry!
he started frosting cupcakes and licking the mini-spatula realllllly deliberately and i don't know if i'm more attracted to him or the cupcakes
Life without a bra equals bliss.
I wanna hang out. The cats don't talk back.
This is a hot dog holiday. I intend to do my part for the processed meat workers of this great union.
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