For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
On my way home right now. I miss you. let's cuddle. whiskey.
you realize that if you hadn't mouthed "we're getting laid tonight", i wouldn't have woken up with your ex this morning. just sayin
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
He said he doesn't "believe" in cuddling. Can you come get me?
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
is it bad that there is a girl in my bed right now and the only thing i can think about is the fect that its after 3am which means i cant order jimmyjohns unitll tomorrow?
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
Randomize
