Still drunk and leading the team through the 9am sales meeting. I'm pretty sure this is why there aren't more 26year-olds in management.
homeboy just tried to sext with me at 8:30 in the morning while I was on a job interview...
so you did it...
obv...but still...it was inconsiderate.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
You'd be proud of me. They tried to give me bread to sober up, but I told them no, im on a diet.
Just threw up in front of the Boy Scouts on my base. Welcome to the Navy kids.
I feel like he better crank it up to level RG IV tomorrow. It's the fucking playoffs.
That's fine. It's not illegal to bring ham into a museum.
Apparently, Lolla sends you an email every time you use your wristband to buy a beer.
21 new emails...yikes
I'm on the Coaster ride of shame, currently sitting across two nice old ladies smelling like condoms.
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
I just found a bag of chex mix in my clutch
You were feeding it to the bartender last night
All right well I’m making her sugar cookies and sleeping with her husband tonight. Just another manic Monday
You’ll lick BBQ off my cock but no ketchup on a hotdog?
Sorry I drunk. I wouldn’t eat those pancakes. I think I put glitter in them.
Randomize
