Moan for me like Helen Keller
You'd think after all these years of evolution that it would be longer than a golf pencil.
just found my old 10th grade stash of beer in a shoebox. guess who's getting trashed tonight
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I smoked a bowl while he ate me out, you need to change your major to match making asap. You are a guru of love.
His cuteness will no longer contol my vagina
Going to the u of w I constantly have that moment of, oh hey I felt you up at that rave at folk fest that one time. Winnipeg is too small.
I'm going as either a recovering alcoholic, or as a guy who came to the party straight from work. Too literal?
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Really? A fat girl?
I'm walking her back. Chill out.
She is a nice girl okay. For some reason we are in my room though.
we superglued breast forms to his chest. those aren't coming off anytime soon.
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
Have you ever thrown up in the middle of your hair appointment? Cause I have..
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
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