He came on my face and tried to draw out a smiley face because he said I looked like I had a bad day
I plan on offering nudes to any guy that wants to give me notes from the past five weeks of class
Do you think anyone has ever tried to have sex with a cows udder before?
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
Well unless he sent his sperm via fedex, this baby isnt his
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
Semen is not good for contacts.
Well his ex just grabbed his dick and told him yep Ill call u later
Some days you just pee in a stairwell and go home.
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Casually on the bus at 830 in the morning with a box of cheezits and a bottle of fireball sticking out of my purse....
At the same time that I bought plan b I got some Girl Scout cookies too. It's not a total loss for you.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
My professor just asked for my number. Not fucking her till after finals though I learned my lesson last time.
I'm a little concerned about right now. You showed up at my house soaking wet, drunk with a bag of ham and 2 liter of Dr. Pepper, and you refused to tell me where you got the ham until I gave you some more liquor.
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