This girl is more easily done than said...
My text messages all automatically add Zs on them cause of your skank ass messages you send me
win or lose for butler, i'm still masturbating to brad stevens tonight
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
Now she's making me sit here and look at pictures of guys she likes who look like bears. She's calling them her bear friends.
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
yo your bro wants to know what time he got home and were you hosing him off
Do you have any idea how horrifying it is to hear your sister and her husband fucking then immediately go down stairs only to hear your parents fucking....... I wish I was Hellen Keller right now.
I feel like having peed on eachother is a point in our lives we should never have gotten to...
Let's get weird.
It's 10 am...
I'm assuming that means you're not busy...
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
Your boyfriend being in jail is really helping my social life! #GotASingleDrinkingBuddyAgain
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
Yea I went out in footie pajamas and still got laid. Good night for u?
there is definitely a hickey on my left nipple.
Randomize
