I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
I left when they started reinacting what appeared to be a jerry springer episode
I think I might have accidentally had a threesome last night with two good friends. See, this is what happens when you leave me.
Worst hangover of my career vs the return of the blue balls. Will keep updated
Family bonfire. I just discovered my cousin drank an entire bottle of champagne at the age of 7. I just got showed up.
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I kinda volunteered your dick to help her deal with her virginity issues. Figured you wouldn't mind.
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
he cock-blocks himself, don't try to make excuses for him!
I left the brick of cheese in your car! Keep it at Moderate Temp! It's my precious!
I'm still home, my life isn't together. Currently drying my pants
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
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