He told me he wouldn't do any drunk sluts but me. I guess that's sort of a compliment...?
Kegger tonight. 10pm. $5 coverfor unlimited booze. Proceeds benefit nuns from Uganda. Bring friends. No shit.
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
At one point, the guy you were fucking high-fived with the guy I was fucking. We should hang out with them again?
Just wrestled a cop. He won my shorts. I won my freedom. In fishnets and army boots. still headed to the party. would appreciate pants, but not necessary.
I filled two of the glass ornaments in my mom's bathroom last night with vodka. That way no one sees me drinking on Christmas. Alcoholic or genius? All I know it makes bathroom trips frequent and enjoyable.
Found plan b box covered with blood. In kitchen sick. Pickle jar is empty. Wtf happened?
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
Two cats fucking in the middle of the street. I sat there and watched in my car because I didn't want to cock block the male by honkin my horn.
she definitely didn't appreciate it when you justified bringing her home by yelling to me "fat bitches need love too"
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He licked me while I ate pretzels and chips. I was really living my best life.
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