shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
Its where this guy sticks a jar up his ass. Be prepared to be suspended between vomiting and cheering.
I have left a significant number of teethmarks in my prhone. My mouth tastes like tequila and cheddar. Tomorrow already feels fun.
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
I either just got cockblocked or saved from a lengthy court case so I'm kinda conflicted about how my night went.
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
i threw up in a box in my own lap driving today.
She basically needs a man who will never act up and take all of her shit
I'm even having trouble finding a guy who's taller than me with no unibrow.. someone needs to tell her its time to lower her standards
There's a person in my phone named motor boat. I love making new friends.
I got to the party and found your shoes in a bag of Funyuns. You weren't even there.
I DON'T WANT TO KNOW THE SCIENTIFIC REASONING BEHIND WHY I STARTED A HAREM ESPECIALLY NOT FROM A GUY IN THE HAREM!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
We took a walk on the beach after the bar, he held my hand and kissed me. And then I peed under a lifeguard stand. It was so romantic.
I couldn’t resist. He had a camouflage condom. You know I love a man in a uniform
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