Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
found a strand of your hair in my car. it's 1 ft 7 inches long
wtf you measured my hair?
STOP acting like a freshman, you have a drivers liscence now AND a PERSCRIPTION for birth control. Dont give all sophmores a bad name. Woman Up
just found out this city drinks more beer during oktoberfest than rhode island does in a year.. i'm never leaving
Weekend has begun hello red wine at 10am on a Wednesday
It's one of those mornings when I woke up thinking that i really shouldn't have hooked up with my ex boyfriend's girlfriend just to prove a point.
You told me my blanket felt like ground beef.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
All I've done is masturbate and drink while being home from college.
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
HER BOYFRIEND CAME HOME WHILE WE WERE GETTING IT ON IN THE SHOWER
At least you smelled nice while he kicked your ass.
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