have you ever wondered what it would feel like to stick those coneheads in your vaj
omg every time its on
I woke up covered in BBQ sauce. My hand had "you win" written on it. Do I celebrate?
why isn't there a fb relationship option that says 'still banging my ex'
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I think he's in need of mouth to penis resuscitation. Which I happen to be certified
He told me "it wants a kiss" WHY HAS THIS HAPPENED WITH 2 DIFFERENT PEOPLE.
I threw up in a Buffalo Wild Wings and then got a high-five. I really don't understand America
Why are you there anyways?
Pickin up ball pit balls from craigslist
Apparently, acid is a good substitute for cash if you don't have any! Who knew?
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
Who the fuck stole my fridge again
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
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