Would it be horrible to send my ex's girlfriend an email telling her that I sexed her man up so dirty that he fell asleep inside of me afterwards?
The last thing I remeber was convincing you to hide in the fridge, and then taking everything out and you not fitting.
that's the last time we turn jepordy into a drinking game.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
Travis is back on this booty and burgers thing. If I'm his delivery service for food he better fuck me how I want.
Bad breakup?
He posted a pic of me fully naked and smiling as he inserted a carrot into my vagina as my FB profile pic and then changed the PW, locking me out of my own account. So 500 of my closest friends, family, and coworkers now have that mental image of me on FB.
The air was thick with penises
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I didn't want to see any of his nipples and now I've seen all three. Thanks.
Sooo a reasonable response to someone eating my lunch is to set the place on fire right?
We are horrible
Yeah but we're also awesome
I'm out of breath and my thighs burn but at least it's over.
right now I am washing the alcohol and shame off from last night
If you ever get divorced...would you call me??
Randomize
