My parents took my cat for a ride in the car. Second weekend in a row. They think its fun. Dear God
New. Vanessa hudgens nude pics
That text made me feel like i signed up for some awesome celeb nude pic reminder
Also, on a completely related note, just came up with an awesome business plan. You in?
To think... Somewhere, too drunk by buckcherry is someone's theme song
A lesson I learned in the hospital....when you masturbate while attached to a heart monitor, it scares the nurses a lot.
who were those guys at the table sniffing dryer sheets?
No more scars from drunken holidays, people are starting to notice.
Considering the fact that everyone took the wrong jacket from that party, should we casually try to return the chalice and soccer ball we stole from last night?
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
man my uterus needs to drop the egg or GTFO, BUUUSHIT
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
its the pipe that keeps on giving. Just when I think it's done, I scrape just enough. It's a st. Patrick's day miracle!
I tried smoking while wearing a horse mask, it was the worst thing I've ever smelled
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
She's still here. My penis can feel it.
Dude, I think she left with some dude like an hour ago
FOUND HER. I swear this thing is like a metal-detector
Why is my belly button ring in my ear
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