Who is this?
Who do you want it to be?
Sarah Palin
I've got the updo, bangs, and glasses, but I'm blonde
how ive managed to spend 100$ at an open bar is beyond me.
So I'm eating my sandwich... and a penny fell out of it.
Just got a blowjob to the theme of Bohemian Rhapsody as the sun was rising. I should just kill myself because ill never top this moment.
literally overdrew my bank account at 3 in the morning to eat subway with 7 sherriffs.
Eating a muffin with a knife and fork. Hangovers have hit a new low.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
I don't think it's considwred fine dining when you're passing out at golden palace in chinatown at 4 am with you boss who happens to be wearing a dress.
It's gay pride weekend and Father's day.. So in honor of the occassions I am now BI
I just don't understand how we smoked the EXACT same thing and I feel fine but Tim's over here serenading his fifth bowl of fruit loops with Elton John's entire discography.
I'm gonna eat you out with that hat on so it looks like beaker's doing it. And I'm gonna go "memememememe"
I AM OFFERING YOU ALCOHOL AND THE CHANCE TO LET ME SAY FUCK IT TO MY RESPONSIBILITIES. HOW MANY TIMES DOES THIS HAPPEN?!
Puking in the Ritz Carlton bathroom was actually kind of a nice experience
We're so high we're eating flavored lube.
are you the reason the first floor girls' bathroom smells like weed?
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