Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I think I'm going to try and hook up with that blond tonight.
I'm going for alcohol poisoning.
We're learning about the color wheel. Hello college.
Sometimes I wonder why I hang out with you. And then you show up half naked at my door with a half gal of vodka, and I remember why.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
woke up with the dennys waiters MYSPACE link on the back of my receipt...yep one of those nights
You need to let him know my only agenda is coke and sadness.
I asked what you thought of her and you replied not the biggest I have had
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
You in for a dick vacation?
YES, even though I have no idea what that means
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
dad is drunk and texting us pictures of bread
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
