Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
he put his p in my v, then his p in my a, and then tried to put the p in my m? first, double dipping is rude. second, i'm glad he finished shortly after that, i'm afraid of where he'd try to stick it next. my ear?
I hate having morals and standards the next morning.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
it's fine if we fail the bar, we were never going to satisfy the moral character requirement anyway
It's been decided..lingerie is an investment. You get free breakfast and cab rides out of it.
Look I know it's late and I hope this doesn't wake you up but I feel like you should know that I'm sleeping on my couch in my own apartment so that my friend can get laid in my bed, and I would do the same for you.
the old man that you threw the shoe at says "hi" and many rude words...
Ok, they now been on the roof for two days. I can see 4 cases of teecate and a carton of smokes. They are yelling at "fucking fall" and pissing off the roof.
she keeps dunkaroos and gatorade in her bed. yep pretty sure im in love.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
You don't have issues. You're a consenting adult having sex at work. Go you.
He had the same tone in his voice and look in his eyes that he gets when he says UFOs aren't real.
How did I end up in some random dudes car?
Some guy came up to you and asked if you knew how to drive stick.
Randomize
