I told him it was like a man's penis, but smaller.
I just caught myself dancing like an old lady in the shower. Have I reached the age where booty dancing stops and swaying of the upper body begins?
heading to class now, facing the weekend consquences
So his "youporn" cam totally caught me stealing quesadilla leftovers.
And they have kittens that decided that boobs are apparently the best arena for king of the hill...
Well watching will be involved...it'll just most likely be of me licking your penis instead of me trying to understand how Hans Solo goes up against the Galactic Empire...
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
I just realized I'm currently not eating carbs, drinking alcohol or having sex. 2014 is off to a horrible start.
You were drunkenly dancing with a statue you affectionately referred to as "The Captain." I wasn't going to deny your happiness.
My friend came into the apartment in real handcuffs at 4 in the morning. She was laughing and running around and then proceeded out the door...
"Nobody needs to know that I have a vibrating butt plug and nobody needs to know that I'm probably gonna start wearing it at work"
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
He was more upset that I got into his phone than about getting caught cheating.
my roomie eats chipotle far too often. when i was looking for a bag to throw up in I had my choice of a wlamart bag and 10 chipotle bags
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
