Holy wow, I found all the old poems u wrote me back when we were in looooooooove...just sort of wild to look back on, thought u'd like that
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
you got so mad from losing a game of beerpong that you went into another room by yourself and practiced for an hour and a half.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
You act like I'm the first person to try and hook up with a blind chick.
Who would we be if we didn't go out to drink during finals week? NOBODY
you know its summer when you wake up on the toilet
You left me with no money to have random Chicago sex. The least you can do is pick me up an egg mcmuffin on your walk of shame back to the hotel.
She swung at the pinata with crutches
google maps should a have a setting for this. like I AM ABANDONING EVERYTHING TO MEET A GIRL WHO IS 10 HOURS OF MILES AWAY. HOW DO WE DO THIS OPTIMALLY?
When we were eating pie last night, I dropped some, and not only did you not judge me for far surpassing the 5 second rule, you let me use your foot to sock mop with. You're a good friend.
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
In order to save time, dignity and liver damage, wanna get naked?
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
4 of us. Guys and girls. Were sitting there discussing the passed out half naked Brit girl on the floor. She is no longer the international woman of mystery.
Randomize
