You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
i can't help myself.. i am just so in love with the kitchen manager.
...he was wearing JNCO shorts.. i'm pretty sure i saw the dragon.
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Bro I can't jerk it to my phone anymore. I feel Siri staring back, and she's real disappointed.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
he tried to give me his business card but gave me his health insurance card then realized it and offered to take me to the strip club
she's five days sober.....are those consecutive????
5 days not 5 nights... like a bad hotel/vacation deal
She legitimately thought I was hiding in the fridge, then she checked the second one to be sure
antibiotics and champagne: breakfast of champions
I'm wearing spiderman underwear, the question is what am I NOT capable of
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
Just made a floating bacon boat for the hot tub. This is what America is all about.
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
I miss you and I miss your weed. Come home.
Randomize