i love my job...i have craft hour at my desk w twizzlers
can u grab me a application
I'm about to tackle a 10 year old off a sea doo
we talked for like an hour, i feel like we really bonded. i mean i was simultaneously giving him head but you get the point.
These headphones make me feel like I'm sitting on John Mayers lap and he's singing just to me. I picture like a pitch black room with a single spotlight on us. Also, convinced Kyle to give me percocet soo.
I can't believe they didnt cut us off after we all hugged each other and started singing "were the 3 best friends that anybody could have" RIGHT IN FRONT of the bar and bartender...
I think she faked a seizure to get out of it ...
Were making Christian mingle accounts. First one to get laid doesn't pay bar tabs for a month.
Challenge accepted. See you in hell.
Wors thing about having a cop dad: random drug testing
That amazing moment when the girl in the passenger seat decides to strip you while your driving.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Buying a pregnancy test at Walmart in the middle of the night in the middle of Tennessee is not really how I imagined my 25th year on this planet starting out...
you ever just feel like an organ is failing?
the bouncer just handed me a Starbucks bag of pound cake
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
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