he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
i think i would be more confident if i were chinese.
it's like your virginity...sometimes you have to pretend like it's still there
you puked out of a dead sleep and didnt wake up
He's doing the single life. He recently finished like a 3 year relationship. You can't date him.
But I don't want to date him. I just want to look at him. Naked. And in my bed.
He's eating a cream cheese sandwich. He's obviously distressed.
Sorry for punching you in the face last night. I should have known the boxing gloves were a bad idea from the start.
I think we should roll her a welcome back, sorry your godmom's on life support blunt.
Next person that gets my dog drunk is paying to have my carpet cleaned. I am tired of getting up to pee and stepping in dog barf.
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
So scratching an ex marines beard, telling him "nice hairy pussy." then when he opens his mouth to respond, I started fingering his mouth. Needless to say was a horrible idea
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
Have you ever been so drunk you pass out in the cab and everyone goes inside and forgets about you? I have
He deserves a nobel prize for his dick-giving abilities. 10/10, would ride again.
Don't ask but i need a priest, a calzone, a litre of gravy, and exactly 7 oreos
And a bag of nachos
Randomize
