She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
I just saw the host of Singled Out do standup. Holy shit 1995.
i found a beer bottle on top of the urinal, peed in it and put it back... if anyone gets drunk enough to fall for it they deserve it
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
There's a naked kid on the floor on your side of the bed. Don't freak out when you wake up. I think we need to fix the lock on the door...
They seriously just ended our alcohol presentation by giving us beer cozies. I love college.
i'm satisfied with the level of pretty that his new girlfriend isn't.
She literally crushed my balls between her butt cheeks. It was both the greatest and worst thing ever. Dancers are awesome.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Half of my brain feels like I donated it to science and they basically just poured jack Daniels on it and put out cigarettes into it before returning it to my skull
Nothing is creepier than a guy telling you "I was just thinking about you" in a men's bathroom when taking a shit
Hey.. Lock your door. There's a drunk girl walking around in here. She just came in my room and peed on my chair.
Just did coke off my highschool yearbook. Not much has changed in 5 years.
I just balanced a full glass of chocolate milk on my left boob. Don't think i've ever been more proud.
Randomize
