he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
There's an amish chick decked out in amish clothes on a cell phone staring at me.
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
just hang any plant up and call it mistletoe.
Just downloaded the entire Justin Bieber album sober.. I think you know how I'm doing.
he came so fast he could have be employed at jimmy johns
I take that as "no I'm not driving you to the bar in a blizzard"
We woke up, fucked twice, she drank 3 warm heinekins to cure her hangover and said "Im glad you're still hott when im sober"
We're drinking vodka. Wine is for people who have to wake up in the morning.
I'll even give you a complementary welcome blowjob.
He's just sitting there staring at my sisters teddy bear hoping it will come to life.
I don't know his last name, but he's in phone as Pat the conqueror.
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
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