Tonight, I'm planning on being a bigger trainwreck than Britney Spears circa 2007.
Now I'll never know if Megan finds a millionaire.
Come over! I've just turned Titanic into a drinking game. I drink every time I want to fuck Leonardo DiCaprio.
You were wasted and fell in a pond when you met him, it's not like you were on top of your game
She came to college a virgin and left on court order. We ruined her.
All I remember is him trying to go down on me, but I guess I was too busy making out with his brother
Even jesus won't love me after tonight. I'm going hard.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
If your boss lets you sleep on his couch, you don't pay him back by boning his daughter.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
Girl, he's like catnip for my pussy.
Is it appropriate to send an apology gift to his roommates for breaking the bathroom sink during crazy sex?
you know my pussy doesn't know between good and evil
Randomize
