whats the name of the jew you used to have sex with that lives on evergreen?
be more specific...?
I'm on the bus and the homeless person in the seat to my left is jacking off to a cartoon picture he found. He's now cleaning up with mitten I dropped.
She asked me how I live with myself. I told her one night at a time.
Hands down the most disgusting picture message ever received. Thank you.
im here for your entertainment
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
It's going to take a while to see a dick pic that I enjoy more than richs helicopter video
Look if you're not going to be mine and take care of my needs, I'm going to fuck your sisters.
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
All I'm saying is the next time I see him naked, there better be something in it for me that doesn't end in bailing him out of jail.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
At one point I was convinced he was a snake and was going to eat me And I just accepted it
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
He started planning our future mid-hookup. You tell me how my night was.
So I come home this morning to get ready for a job interview and there is garlic seasoning all over the hardwood and a knife in the wall. What. the. fuck.
Randomize
