He went through and tagged himself on my crotch in all of my facebook pics
you just can't say no to drugs on a mirrored table.
He told me they were just razor bumps!
as we were driving back from the frat house he pulled down his pants and convinced me his penis "wanted some air"
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There are drunk kids outside our building hugging that cop that's always on his bike as he's citing them for public drunkenness. It's not even 11 am.
Nothing is more important than the last pool party of the season. Call in sick or gay or something.
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
new costume idea. paint swatches and a ball gag... I'll be 50 shades of grey.
I think I maybe realized he was too old for me when I went into his bathroom and he had anti aging face cream.
Not a problem, sailor. I speak both autocorrect and typo.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
another side note: i'm officially selling my underwear on the internet
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
You’d probably be happy to know that I think I’ve mastered the skill of knowing “my type” and then steering clear
FINALLY. I THOUGHT THIS DAY WOULD NEVER COME!
Randomize
