it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
saw you walking with that piece of shit
and that piece of shit just read that
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
The vagina on Hilton Head is mighty fine this time of year.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Decided to go explore a half built apartment complex at 4 a.m and leave a 3 block obstacle course in the alley ways on the way home.
he said he wished i had balls so he could kick me in them. then we had sex obviously
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
You're talking about alcohol when the smell of hand sanitizer is too much for me right now
This place is a maelstrom of dicks.
I mean as in stuck up bastards, not actual, desirable male genitalia. My point is, come pick me up fast, please!
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
Im at a south american orphan benefit auction drinking stoli in a coffee mug, this is what my life has become, thanks a lot community college
Alone, in the dark, eating tacos and drinking vodka. Who's apartment is this?
I climbed on the arm of the futon, flapping my hand fan frantically and hissing imprecations at the smoke detector
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