i should go to a nude beach and wear just a condom, then ill have tan lines on my dick
Jesus wouldn't steal pop tarts. So why did you?
The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
is it wrong that i plan on stealing a few pipecleaners from my preschool classroom to clean my bowl?
i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
she was mad because i didn't remember our fuckaversary. fuck buddies are getting too demanding..
it was like getting a handjob from robocop
thats the coolest thing thats happened to my vagina since i dated that guy from portugal.
A beer fell out of the case, hit the ground and started spraying. He's a pro. He grabbed it and shotgunned it while still holding the case.
Watching crazy stupid love and drinking alone isn't what I thought it was gonna be
Its TONS better. Expect a drunk dial at 11:54
Bring enough bail money and little extra for tacos after
So some drunk guy just tried to convince me with all of his passion that bacon is a color
When you're done railing that chick, there is still half a pizza and some ninja turtle mac and cheese down here if you want
It isn't about the beer pong. It is about the destruction of the patriarchy.
So unofficially, he told me he deleted tinder because of me. I think that's a pretty romantic gesture in 2018.
Randomize
