I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
dude your alot more fun to hang out around now that your addicted to coke...but seriously you need to stop
You need Jesus like Tony Danza needs another hit show.
Single schmingle. No one actually obeys the relationship boundaries these days. Its 2009.
so i turned around to do some reverse cowgirl when he said that this was such a better visual for him. Bad compliment or serious insult. i cant tell
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
We need to go to the store an get depends. I really don't want to be bothered with the bathroom this weekend.
Just threw up in the waiting room. I can't believe I have to switch dermatologists again.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
you passed out while setting up your phones timer to time how long it would take before you to passed out.
I asked her how many times she came and she said "Oh god I can't count that high, Rutgers doesn't teach us that."
you know that australian accents are like the bat signal to my vagina
We had sex on the playground and then walked around his neighborhood grading houses based on their Christmas decorations
Also that boy who jizzed in me wearing Cowboy boots and a plaid shirt snapped me at 4 am and said "I owe you a dinner. Sorry"
Also, next time I go get a wax, I'm gonna ask the girl about the innie to outie ratio she sees on the daily.
Randomize
