the sham wow guy got arrested for beating up a hooker.
escape the fate? dumbest band name ever. how about escape the fart. now that is a show i would go see!
I havnt had this much beer since i losodt my virginity. thank. god.
A girl limped into my class 15 minutes late wearing sunglasses, leggings, and a kiss me im irish shirt. She sat down and took her glasses off and im pretty sure she only had one eye's makeup still on. Someone had a great st pattys day.
They evidently had to pull his penis out of me while we were passed out on the floor.
I considered my 2012 starting right when the cop followed the wrong car for the bottle rocket we shot at him
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
Also, did you really start discussing the weather in the middle of telling you my sexual fantasy about you?
IN THE MIDDLE OF HOOKING UP, HE IS CALLED AWAY ON AN "EMERGENCY". FUCK THAT, MATT'S CAR IS NOT AS URGENT AS MY THIRST.
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
I'm hiding in the bathroom at the library but there are children here I just want to drunk cry in peace
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
They were assless. I wore assless football pants.
My dreams last night were filled with sex and quidditch.
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