I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
all the douches that like ed hardy are the same douches that were obsessed with lisa frank
Coffee flavored vodka sounded like such a good idea at the time. Now i never want to drink coffee again.
Baffled as to how I'm gonna get 150lbs of sand out of my basement.
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
Judging by my dry clothes and wet sheets, I think I might have gotten out of bed, pissed ON it, covered it up, and passed out on top of it
Ps, did you know if you google "drunk jenga", you're the first image that shows up?
my heaven will be filled with hot naked men covered in chick-fil-a sauce and me wearing a bib
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
It's really not cool dreaming about going into labor with your ex boyfriends love child as you're sleeping next to him.
I'm starting to think I didn't bring enough liquor for this family Christmas.
It's 2 pm....
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
not sure what the chiropractor did but my junk deserves a cape now.
Randomize
