she kept yelling 'call me bella'
I can't wait until next week, when I find out what drunk me added to the Netflix queue.
just got passed by a van of kids watching the little mermaid. debating speeding so i can watch
Didn't u have court just yesterday for ur driving?
IT'S THE LITTLE MERMAID! totally worth another year of probation
Within 5 minutes of max walking in his pants were off and he was wearing my snow goggles as underwear.
No, I don't think your idea of offering shots in exchange for bonus points to your history professor at B-Dubs was a good idea. Especially after you later told him that you would "tap that" in regards to his wife.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
I just made an agreement with this milf to shoot her daughters wedding in exchange for blow jobs. Going pro was the best choice I ever made.
I had to convince someone last night that the fact that he couldn't get me off wasn't him it was me and to clarify I had to tell him there was only. One person that got me off every time without fail, he said "that guy is my hero" you should be proud
The amount of knuckle children I've had to the Farrah Abraham sex tape is disturbing and impressive
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
So... remember when you threw an orange in the closet when we were 16 to make wine? Just found it. Not wine.
Congrats on graduating and I'm in a cab and need someone to helps keeping me up, do you mind
High. As. Fuck. I thought the kid next to me didn't have an arm for like 2 hours.
Hahahaha I'm glad you woke me up with this text.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
Randomize
