i can't believe i had my finger in that
I told him I had my daily dose of vitamin c so i wouldn't blow him
You would only drink if the space jam soundtrack was playing, you thought it was hilarious that before every shot you said "y'all ready for this".
We're not too concerned with getting her out of jail. We're on a mission for donuts.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
After she came with my hands around her neck, she sat there for a minute and gave me the scuba diving sign for a-ok.
Do you remember calling yourself Captain Cockblock and openly giving out everyones sexual history? Because you did.
i honestly don't know why someone didn't cut me off after i broke the ceiling lamp with MY HEAD
All I can see in the pic you sent is white shorts...
Thas my pasnts in colleg! Tehy glow! AND SMELL LIKE BEER!
Imagine getting smashed in the dick by a basketball. A basketball made of metal. With spikes. That's pretty much what his dick looked like.
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Oh okay well are you handling the "just sex part" like a professional hooker like I taught you?
I'm trying to get WebMD to diagnose me with a hangover
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
sometimes i just have a bad day n consider lowering my standards
Randomize
