Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
It took him longer to undo my bra than he lasted..
chipotle is closed for thanksgiving... I am officially thankful for NOTHING.
They need a stunt cock, be about 20 more minutes.
Anytime you have a hot, flirty, married woman that wants to ride you like a horse and slap your ass, you've got to do it.
Yeah, but four times?
They should try giving mcdonalds to cancer patients because it just cured the worst hangover ive ever had
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
The walk of shame out of a freshman dorm isn't so bad when you're 25, nobody questions you because they think youre gonna bust them for having weed
stop calling me dude. finger blasting me officially kills you being able to call me dude.
The best, and by the best I mean the worst, was the 7 month along pregnant chick in the skin tight body suit.
I refrained from asking a guy what he spilled on his dick because it smelled good. Morals.
It's called being normal.
I was gonna respond but i couldnt figure out a way to rearrange 'fuck his brains out' to sound grammatically correct
We have GOT to stop getting stoned and going out for expensive dinners.
The man who almost made us Eskimo sisters is getting married. Of course I'll be your date. We need to toast the end of his sex life!
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
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