I puked the same amount of times as the number of bars i went to last night
So...i'm having a drinking contest, my right hand vs my left, i have a feeling the 24 pack is gonna win
she just gave me a present from you... on a stripper pole. in front of the whole club. :)
WHY ISNT THIS A PICTURE MESSAGE
Weird we were more concerned with sharing our germs than tag teaming the blow job?
I found a horn on the street but it's okay I disinfected it with vodka
im hiding in a corner. drunk. with a plate of stolen jello shots. im pretty sure people are looking for me or the jello shots.
Land Before Time marathon. we drink every time littlefoot almost eats a treestar.
You could breast feed yourself wine!! This shit is genius!
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
And if I don't get arrested for drinking and canoeing over the next 3 days, this hurricane will not have turned out anywhere near as well as I planned
Nothing makes me happier than finding out someone else is pregnant and it's not you.
I haven't reeked of cheap beer and poor decisions in months. I officially hate adult life.
The moment I said this burrito on my nuts feels really good is the moment I knew I was drunk
Somehow his homemade liquor activated memories of my semester abroad three years ago. I ended up yelling random medical advice in German, while my roommates played dress-up with the cat stoned out of their minds. I consequently gave up on dating. Back in the ONS game.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
Randomize
