I think I should have my paycheck direct deposited to the bar
You're the 8th person from last night to text me this morning and ask if I'm ok.
walking in back of a girl wearing booty shorts, a halter and a bracelet that says trainwreck. I don't get it. The first day of nice weather and all the whores come out, are they like hibernating bears or something?
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
Mom said you looked used
Never ever ever ever ever ever give your number to a 30 year old at buffalo wild wings. Ever ever ever.
I got to explain to the guys at work today how i had no choice but to go to a gay bar because I was handcuffed to a lesbian.
Bro, he broke his neck diving into a kiddy pool.
If you value your immune system buddy, walk away from that one.
The number of people who end up getting laid as a result of the cha cha slide....is terrible.
We're both great liars, in committed relationships, and horny. Its the perfect storm of cheating
And know that if I ever text "road head?" that it comes from a place of caring and not a place of heartlessness..
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
