I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
i just got cum up my nose. i would have expected more from the captain of the men's lacrosse team
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
I need to make a 'no kissing' rule for my casual hookups during cold season...this cold is so not worth it.
You asked me if you could throw up in my shoe.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
I got high with the cantor. Rethinking this whole non-practicing Jew thing.
I just realized now that you're pregnant we can't use alcohol as currency
And that facial hair. He might as well shave it so it spells "douche" on one cheek and "nozzle" on the other.
i will not be out-irished. not this night. if i don't wake up tomorrow handcuffed to a hospital bed, i have failed my ancestors.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
Come as you are, bitch. Glitter and vodka provided.
He ate me out for my sailor moon manga and I gave him a blowjob for his Devilman manga. Pretty sweet deal imo
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