these burps are starting to have way more vomit in them,
I wish I could drop acid with the muppets
Christmas on farmville was waaaaay better than my actual Christmas.
so i just drove past a racoon and a kid on a long board... god i love 4am white castle runs
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
This girl has a second refrigerator that she uses JUST for liquor, her kitchen chairs are kegs AND she can grill. I'm not coming back.
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
Also I'm 95 percent positive we ate food naked together
She's clinging to me like a horny koala.
Just witnessed a bar fight started by a guy wearing a construction vest cuz he didn't like the other guys shirt
he asked me to lick his asshole and I told him his girlfriend could do that for him
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
ok I know you arent happy with the way we ended but paying someone to pass me an STD is TOTALLY FUCKED!!!
well i can officially check "have sex in a prius" off my bucket list...
I just had 3 numbers I don't know text me and remind me I am to attend AA on monday. Im gonna say it was a good night.
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