just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
We'll see haha. The cum didn't work...I just chewed the whole thing in a day.
I hope you meant gum...
He choked me out. i woke up to poo. I dont think i like S&M
just got carried INTO the bar by 4 people. it's like watching my weekend in reverse.
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Apparently I covered myself in sunscreen before I went to bed. Im just assuming that due to the fact I found an empty bottle of sunblock
I think you would be disgusted with me if you knew how many times I had imaginary sex with you today
nope. It turned out i wasnt the drunkest person asleep in tacobell parking lot.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
my last clear memory of the night was being offered a shot but having so much alcohol in my hands that someone literally had to pour it in my mouth for me. after that it pretty much skips to waking up face down and shirtless on my floor.
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
So is there a reason your dad is passed out naked in my shower? P.S. Congrats on the family dong.
I didn't get it..
I'm sorry. But to the original question please.
Well he was mad because I chose tequila over him. He obviously doesn't understand that he will always be second to my first true love.
But I made it seem like I wasn't hungover at work, so that's a plus.
I think I offered a man a blowjob for his power ranger suite last night...
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