I am not hooking up with him just to see what his penis looks like.
My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
just hooked up with an air force officer in a hotel room paid for by the military. i feel like i should go around thanking taxpayers for the assist.
11am puke and rally. THIS is what I'm gonna miss about college.
i fucked a milf yesterday.
i'm not impressed, in this generation that could technically mean a 16 year old.
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
"thanks for the sex" was written in lipstick on my bathroom mirror. i'm officially done with random hook ups.
I need to stop drunkenly getting naked. I'm losing all my favorite party clothes.
holy shit i just had sex in a phone booth i so feel young again
You had the nerve to crowd surf to your own bedroom.. I guess watching Aladdin high was probably the best idea ever
He was dressed as a cowboy and he was dancing with my ex roommate. So I took his gun and pistol whipped him with it..then somehow we still slept together..
DONT YOU DARE DIE YET THERE IS SO MUCH SEX TO BE HAD
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
dude...i punched my best friend in the face, broke up with my girlfriend, and shit my pants.......now i don't know which one to take care of first.
Randomize
