he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
By this time tomorrow I expect us to be sitting at the kitchen table either playing a drinking game, or crying. Set an alarm
No...this little piggys going to the bar
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I was going to ask the people in the kitchen to keep the volume down, but they're cooking pasta at 3 AM and one complimented me on my polka-dot nightgown. They're high. No volume control.
You know I love you. I just don't love your penis.
We also had a full on debate about how realistic and useful teleportation and time travel would be...and only used Twilight Zone episodes as "scientific evidence"
Fuck you asshole. You cost me cheerleader pussy.
So... In conclusion, do I bring my vibrator and risk not only having it getting taken out at security, but also exposing my dad to my neon green vibrator, or just leave it here?
Buying a new bed right now. My options are limited because I need to be able to be tied to it.
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
its official, you're fucking me on my lunch break. the only thing I want in my mouth is your dick. pick me up at noon.
want fries with that?
Randomize