Well apparently he's into motor boating.
Let's turn this shoulder dislocation into a positive. Come to the hospital, bring some beers, let's party.
But fine, we can play that game. You can come over and we can have totally platonic, long, boring discussions. Or we can fuck. Whatever.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
aha we'll just say that my mind was so focused on A Bugs Life that it was hard to maintain an erection
he fucked me with his goalie mask on. it was like sleeping with Darth Vader
I'm 2 seconds away from smashing the bottle and drinking it off the counter with a straw.
Do you own a cuff key and know where Karen lives?
She gave me a boner for the first time in 9 years.
she peed her pants, took them off, the put them back on. but she only put her legs in one hole.
isnt it crazy how for years we were living our owns lives, and now only a wall seperates us?
stop. eating. my. shrooms.
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
He ate me out in a golf cart while I watched the sunset. You are so right, golf skirts do provide amazing access.
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