this kid just came up to me and asked me if i wanted to play truth or aids with him and his friends. i'm in
xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
i just sent this text using only my big toe
We were driving to yogurt express by state and these girls mooned is while they passed us and we saw full vag complete with tampon string dangling.
Weird. Haha. I guess taking advice from batman is a good idea.
my mom took me to a gay bar and went on and on about all her good times at clubs... i now know where i get it
She used the introduce me to her roommates so she could find out my name trick the next morning..I may be in love.
Im eating the cereal I found in my pocket and drinking wine out of the bottle.
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
How the fuck did you end up in a tree? With multiple people?
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
Dude, the lecture theatre is caving in on me.
Can we just focus for a minute on the fact that I HAD MY FIRST LESBIAN ENCOUNTER.
Right. How rude of me to inform you that you're going to be an aunt.
You got naked in his car? Or the koala suit was in his car? One of those sounds a lot less slutty than the other......
Randomize
