you told everyone your name was brenda and you had the whole party chanting b-dawgg by the end of the night. successful.
Please tell me you did not just serenade her with "Let's Get it On"?
Yeah I think it worked. My penis thanks you, Captain Morgan.
so this guy on craigslist is offering a case of beer to shave his back. i think i'm gonna take him up on it.
That's saying a lot from the girl who takes her liquor with her to the library
There's two big trays of water in our freezer. I just hope they freeze by Saturday. for the ice luge.
its Wednesday...
they're reeeeeally big trays
dude wearing that thong all day was not worth the 7 bucks
There were gay boys and a jukebox. It was like god wanted me to.
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
We had sex in the morning in pregnant lady position. Like fuck me like the hott piece of ass that I am, not your wife of 7 years.
I'm going to CVS to meet the Craigslist guy who is going to buy my underwear. If I don't text you within the next hour, plz assume that I have been abducted by a stranger with an underwear fetish.
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
It was really strange. I feel like I had sex with a synchronized swimmer.
I'm just concerned as to why his penis is two different colors.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
Randomize
