my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Lesbian chick is doing her presentation on the time she woke up on the dockside still drunk at 7 am. This is why I show up to chinese class.
they wouldn't let me take the pitcher of beer on the ferris wheel
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
I had to puke in a ditch beside a cow pasture and like 50 cows just stood there and watched. I could feel the judgment.
You were definitely drunk. You gave him an otphj in front of everyone.
I just bought a bottle of lube for my car.
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I barely trust you with my tinder, why would I let you take the staples out of my head?!
I literally woke up walked into the bathroom, threw up and died this morning. Then went to my 8am.
We got caught fucking on the couch while I was in my Godzilla onesie.
Just sold our expired ticket for a free night of bowling to a drunk guy downtown for 50 bucks. Ill buy beer on my way home
Randomize