why doesnt he love me? i have tried everything. i even sang to him after sex.
you have got to be kidding?
She was lying in bed moaning while eating a Snickers and masturbating.
had another sex dream about alec baldwin...
She called it mighty mouse.. And from there it was down hill
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
you were fixing your hair in the bathroom mirror and then fell backwards through the locked stall while she was in mid pee and fell on her lap.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
I have pictures of you taking tequila shots off the front of the police car when the cop wasn't looking.
these are times I'm glad I'm Jewish because the Torah is just like "drink, eat, and fuck"
Idk how much vodka is on these pants but I'm gonna wear them anyway: the biopic
I woke up with her finger in my vag. Let's just say that I'm one horny inquisitive drunk.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I'll pick u up. I have to buy a new sofa cover anyway. I swear I've never seem a girl cum like that before.
Randomize
