in pain and im wearing pink underwear
so?
i dont own pink underwear
WHY DID I DRINK ALL THE INGREDIENTS FOR VOMIT?!
New high or new low? Cat walked into the bathroom while I was taking a #2, looked @ me, sneezed and walked out..
Why are we friends again?
i dont feel like going...you don't know how much work goes into getting my whore on
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
By the power invested in me, I now pronounce your taco to be meaty. Meaty taco meaty taco meaty meaty meaty taco.
Meant to have fun, ended up giving speech about consent to guy at bar. Feminist side feels happy. Orgasms side feels confused and betrayed.
Wow has his pick up routine ever gotten bad. He is trying to use cheese as a way to flirt with the waitress
Oh man, he played the Harvarti cheese card and it didn't work. Now he is flailing
don't do it for the experience, do it for the story. now get your ass in that bedroom
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
Rebecca hasn't has this number in 3 months. Please tell all her friends to stop calling at 3 am. We are not interested in buying or selling drugs nor do we want to hook up with anyone. You all need to go to rehab.
I figured you were on something. You're way too happy right now to be sober
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
Alcohol. Making me feel good about myself since 2008
Randomize
