By the way the fattest man alive got married yesterday and I don't even have a boyfriend.
I thought she had blonde hair
No, Gonorrhea actually
Don't be a dummy cum on the tummy. Make her a slut, and cum in her butt. Have no fear, jizz in her ear. Don't be a noob, cum on her boob. Forget her rack, blow on her back. Just take off your coat and jizz in her throat. And if she seals off her holes, cum in her rolls
is that a poem?!
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
It's 5:30am in Vegas and I'm eating McDondalds next to crying prostitutes.....low point.
I'm trying to find candidates for my winter break hook up. I'm going to hold auditions thanksgiving break.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to hit on your nurse while getting an HIV test.
The bouncer called to give me my shoes back when I got there he said " I'm all cool with fuvking bitches but when you try to to do it in my bar on the pool table you're gonna get chocked out every time"
At least you got your shooes
her mom went out of her way to book us a room with separate beds... her level of gay denial is in beast mode
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I was driving around a golf cart with a keg in the back before I got caught by the cops. First slow speed chase ever
I really would enjoy sexual intercourse with you.
Most formal booty call EVER
Are you sure you found YOUR underwear?
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize
