Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
Can I use you as a job reference? Don't tell them i got you fired cause I banged you tho
Just saw a motorized bathtub. I think this college thing is gonna work out.
Woke up this morning to my mom on the phone with my dad saying, "It's probably just your prostate." Reasons to move out. Go.
Thats why you always identify the subtext of a blowjob before you accept it.
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
ill give you food and tequilla and penis and joy
I need to stop going to bars and yelling "I could be teaching your kids one day, bitches!"
Is adulthood just morning sex and then walking through the grocery store 20 min later looking for something to take to work for lunch?
...and then running into your dad at said grocery store...
I ate shit on a rock, and when I got up this car full of people asked me if I was okay, and I just sprinted away screaming "I am a banana!"
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
all i want in life is a shot and a cock is that too much to ask
I feel like sleeping with foreign people is a long term investment. It's like a time share. Now when I go to London I have a place to stay.
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