so that wasnt chicken after all
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Just hook me up with your dad already stop being selfish
You know in a few years she's gonna look like her mom. So if you're gonna hit that you better do it while she still looks like somebody else.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
She seems less like a roommate, and more like a homeless person who snuck into your apartment.
So the pizza place just called me after an hour saying they don't have dough
So hungover and decided to eat a burrito and a pot brownie for dinner, this is what adulthood looks like.
You're a mystery wrapped in an enigma wrapped in a redhead
I can feel the shame as I walk down your hallway.. good night
Tonight I totally got eaten out in the old school photo booth in the mall. Will send you pics of the photo reel asap
I broke my dick don't ask me how I need help putting in a catheter so I can piss.
Randomize
