Tell LD happy birthday and party like it's $19.99
Recession joke.
how many times in life can you be kicked out of a pizza buffet for vomiting on the food and insulting small children
...so how do you feel about living with a lesbian next year?
hhaha i just laughed out loud when i read that
is that a "i laughed because im fine with it" or "im a republican" ?
I need to stop making out with boys in plain view of half my class.
He looked like Harry Potter. I had to do it.
is that a crab cake on the shelf with the dvd's....?
To put it in a frame of reference with which you're familiar, it was like making out with a golden retriever.
at least the person I hooked up with donates to charity, the shirt I was wearing this morning was his relay for life shirt.
six ambien and a bong later...he was calling me blueberry princess who need rescuing from the evil oven, and he was sir Eatsalot.
I think Vodka is my favorite. Everything else ties for second.
that's the best thing i've ever said to a penis
Why are you taking pics in the bathroom with the plunger? I mean you still look hot and I'm totally going to wack off to it.
I just changed all my morning alarms to wake me up with different Jesse McCartney songs telling me I'm beautiful. Would you believe I'll be 25 this year?
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
So I got offered a job this morning based on being a "good role model for girls" and I am drunk at 330 in the afternoon in "celebration." sometimes, life is insane. But not so bad.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
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