Doing final review now. Then epic shit. Then going to take it. Should start it be 1030. Done by 2. Drunk by 3. Hammered by 4. Blacked out by 5. Streaking by 6. Jail sometime after that
the not having weed thing wouldnt be nearly as tragic if it wasnt the one holiday where they launch bright flaming things into the air
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
Halfway through banging her I realized that she was playing a sex playlist on her iPod...first time actually having sex to R.Kelly's "bump and grind"
It's kind of sad that your greatest accomplishment today is that you stood up and didn't fall down.
What's the protocol on showing a video of me sucking the life out of my ex in order to prove beyond a doubt that I give great head???
Why do I have flashes of a dark shed in my memory?
Because we had sex in one.
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
My boyfriend correctly calculated the time I would be out of alcohol and showed up about four minutes after I'd run out with two bottles of wine. I think this is love.
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
Randomize
