They have a pepper shaker for pot.
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
his dad came out and found me sleeping indian style on the couch with my cup balancing on my boobs. didn't spill a drop.
After he was done he gave me a case of landshark and tickets to tomorrows yankee game. This is the best nonrelationship ever
I think you begin to realize how unfair life really is when you're high and you discover that the new box of fruit by the foot on your shelf is actually empty
My arms are sore from holding up pukeahontas for so long
It wasn't until I took a shit, that I remembered that you assholes started spiking my shots with tobasco when I wasn't looking last night. Dicks.
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
It sounded like he said "don't stop" but all I could hear were his balls.
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
He wore socks while I was giving him head. I couldn't even focus on his penis because of the socks.
We will just distract him with tacos and porn.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
I remember you banged her while I was dying on your couch, so good call
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