I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
you were running down the aisles of wal mart singing 'follow the yellowbrick road'. i'm pretty sure you thought the night shift workers were the munchkins & started crying when they wouldnt help u find the wizard. needless to say u were pretty stoned/wasted
I still have your handprint on my ass. You're not allowed to ignore me yet.
I feel like I had eight dicks in my mouth
I thought i'd save money with No Heat November but the amount of whiskey i have to buy to stay warm is probably adding up to more than a heat bill.
she reminds me of the first time i discovered masturbation. that's how you know it's true love.
Drunk you is everything I aspire to be in life.
Kate gave me a 3 day old cup of tequila last night and forced me to chug it. P.s. i drew u a picture
Why is Kyle using one of my nieces as a blunt object to provoke and attack my other niece?
By getting lucky do you mean I get one of your incredible BJs or you not killing me by the end of dinner?
Sounds like it could have been the night you pulled out your love stump at the strip club.
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
You knew you'd end up at his house the minute you emptied the bowl of condoms into your purse.
I just realized now that I slept with him while he was still wearing the maid costume... I've reached a new level of sexual freakness.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
