I wish your couch was made out of beer. I would drink like half of it.
So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
I mean, I'm twenty four years old and I've never paid for my own drink. You can't say that any of your ex girlfriends boobs are THAT great.
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I'd like to stay optimistic, but I have this nagging suspicion my penis is in for a disappointing holiday weekend.
Highlight of the weekend: getting roundhouse kicked in the dick while switching from reverse cowgirl.
My roommate just walked in with a case of beer locked himself in his room and told us he was going to masturbate his feelings away...
I met a pornstar at his bachelor party and signed his shirt giving him wedding advice
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I solemnly swear to help bail you out of jail when you throw a dildo at a politician.
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Idk how much of a virgin he is but I'm tryna find out.
If those panties could talk.
"Once upon a time, Jenny got chlamydia from a magician. The end."
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