so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
he's the Salvador Dali of pubic shaving
Don't know whats worst me sharding on her a bit or her believing me when i told her she did it...
We're 3 acts into this drag show and we've already run out of Lady Gaga songs.
Don't pass out before midnight like you did last year. See how much your year sucked
Found her laying down in a booth in iHop. She's a keeper.
she's googling pictures of Freddy Mercury and whispering 'I'm ready'
I admit it's going to be hard to top a limo orgy and Mcnuggets....but I have faith in you
Just orgasmed in canada. I should get a sticker or something that says I orgasmed in a different country.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
when you greet her, try not to lead with "this night will end with you on top of me". first impressions, bro.
What guy invites over a booty call, gets all naked and then when the real fun begins and a condom is needed, claims to not have one? And wears socks THE entire time?
I was very impressed with his ability to carry on a conversation with his friends sitting in the front seat with his hand in my pants, getting a hand job, stoned, with a cigarette in his mouth. I think he's a keeper.
I just got out of the shower and I feel like I just washed off 10 lbs of bad decisions...
i passed out in front of ihop...for the second night in a row. i think i need to reevaluate my life choices
Randomize
