i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
My sis friend said it was fake then described it as "scary"...greatest adj ever applied to my dick
My eyes are so dilated i literally have night vision right now.
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
Saturday at 4 is jello wrestling sponsored by the senior class council. That's why my school is awesome. Boom.
Article 1, law 1, section 1 of the apartment 25 party handbook: tarp will be purchased prior to any and all future parties. Aforementioned tarp will be placed on floor. Any and all sick patrons must relocate to tarp preceding the event of expulsion of bodily fluids. Failure to do so will result in ejection of guilty patron and banishment of the accused from succeeding party. All patrons must read and sign a copy before entry is granted.
It's like I just got slapped in the face with the cock of nostalgia.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
Every time I see him I get horny. I can't help it!
Just stop. You're making other wives look bad. We are all starting to hate you.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
It's all a blur. I just remember holding some strangers baby
Yah. Thai people are way too trusting
I just watched in amazement as you had a full conversation about water temperature and bacteria with your pet goldfish.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
I just licked wine off my own thigh. I've hit a new low.
When we were in Vegas he tried to get an Elvis impersonator to act dead on a toilet so he could take photos. This is even worse
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