he broke up with me while standing outside, half naked, waiting to fuck him. i feel like a leper right about now.
It's just like riding a horse. A very tall, gay horse.
These fall allergies are really hindering my cocaine habit.
just had wine and brownie batter for dinner. Single life is good
i'm pregaming while finishing a paper on cardio myocyte contractility in mice. i'm kicking finals week's ass right now
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
He tried to give me a shoulder massage while i peed in the neighbors bushes to "make it more relaxing."... I let him... That drunk
You were on the drunk bus swinging around on the pole when you decided you were hungry, so you pulled half a bagel out of your pants and ate it. Everyone stared at you, dumbfounded as to where it came from, and cheered
What an age we live in that I can try to pick up a guy by using my phone while I'm taking a shit at work.
I punted my pants across my apt at my roommate last night. Everything else is kinda fuzzy.
I just remembered that last night I ate nachos off of someone else's table with a stranger
he doesn't sweat normal. maybe that's what THC smells like coming through the sweat glands...
Went to take a shower. Brought my wine, forgot my towel.
I think one of my ovaries is committing suicide. But that is a topic for another day.
You kept sayin "its alright, I'm pre-med" to everything we said. EVERYTHING.
Randomize
